Further to the below Martin sadly passed away in May 2022

Martin is my best mate and I still recall the night, over 7 years ago in The Elizabethan Heaton Moor, Stockport, when Debbie and I were having a drink with Martin and his wife Pam. During conversation, Martin repeated things several times and appeared a little confused. Having lost my mum to dementia, the signs were there and unfortunately Martin was eventually diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia.

Dementia has a massive impact, not only just on those who have the disease, it also places mental and physical strain on family and friends who try and adapt to looking after their loved ones. In essence, over time the disease steals your friend or partner and some of Pam’s own words are documented below.

Pam, has been an ever present support to Martin since he was diagnosed, and with her blessing I have photographed Martin when we have been out, which includes our Saturday jaunts around Stockport, sometimes other towns, often with our mate Alan Barnett, known to his mates as ‘Grumpy’ and often with lads who we used to work with.

In late 2019, Martins condition made it difficult to go on any ‘jaunts’ so we kept it local, but again over time, his vision and awareness has deteriorated so it was difficult to get out.

The recent Covid 19 has obviously created difficulties for family visits and care homes in general, but Pam has continued to visit when possible and like many relatives of those with dementia has had to communicate with a barrier of some sort in place.

It may sound strange, but although Martin is still alive, I miss him. He’s been a massive support to me over the years. He’s here in body, but it’s not the Martin who has been a life long friend. I miss his company, sound advice, a beer, a curry, but most of all i miss his wit, sense of humour and his gift of coming up with that one liner that had everybody in fits of laughter. I suppose like many things, you take lots for granted and don’t realise the important things until they’re gone.

‘About Martin’ is a selection of photographs of Martin that I have taken over a 7 year period, which were to be exhibited at Stockport Art Gallery in October 2020, however like many other things, this is now on hold due to Covid.

In view of the exhibition being postponed again, I have decided to post a few of my images from the last few years. Some of the images, particularly some taken over the last 12 months, show Martin’s deterioration and could be quite upsetting for some so i don’t propose to display those at present. I do hope to exhibit all the images sometime in the near future.

Whilst any future exhibition will be free to enter, any donations will go to The Young Dementia Team at The Meadows Stockport NHS.

Martin with my dad. Stockport Market 2014

Pam’s words

Martin has been a Stockport resident all his life. His family home was in Heaton Chapel, where he lived with his Father (Gilbert), Mother (Deanis) and Sister (Dee).

Martin’s Father worked in insurance and spent most of his working life in city centre Manchester. His Mother was a talented dressmaker who worked from home.

After leaving school, Martin went to work for his Father’s company. However, he soon realised that the insurance industry was not for him and Martin joined Greater Manchester Police, serving 30 years as a Police Officer.

Unfortunately, a few years after retiring, Martin was diagnosed with Young Onset Dementia; specifically Alzheimer’s disease. He was 55 years old.

He lost his speech, dexterity and coordination in quick succession. Then came the uncooperative and aggressive behaviour, that changed him into someone else. Not to mention the restlessness and the pacing, the hallucinations and the paranoia, and the inability to sleep for more than 3 hours each night.

As his condition deteriorated, he needed constant supervision. He started to wander and get lost whilst outside. Even wandering around the house, and other indoor places, he started doing unpredictable and dangerous things. Then, the aggressive behaviour escalated into violent behaviour. And finally, after 5 years of being cared for at home, Martin went to stay in a Dementia Care Home. He was 60 years old, and by far the youngest person in the home.

2 years later ...... Martin is now a resident in a Dementia Nursing Home. He is settled and looked after by the Staff, but he is a very different man now. He has visual and spatial problems and his mobility is impaired. He no longer has the capacity to do anything for himself and is totally dependent on others.

If it’s a bad day, he has to be reminded of people’s names and who they are. It might be a good day and there will be some awareness and maybe a glimpse of the ‘old’ Martin, but the rest of the time he struggles to recognise Friends or Family members.

Martin is dying from a cruel and relentless disease, and it’s heartbreaking for everyone.